By Jack Kelly
Be forewarned—for the foreseeable future, we’ll be inundated by fearmongering from the mass media and politicians. So, let me get it started.
The International Business Times reports that North Korean dictator and trend-setting hairstyle icon Kim Jong Un was accused of having a unique medical approach toward people who are infected with the coronavirus—execution. There’s no word if this sophisticated healthcare program will be emulated in the United States and endorsed by one of our presidential hopefuls.
If you think that’s wild, keep reading on, my comrades. This is kinda trippy! You may have seen the best-selling author Dean Koontz’s name in Barnes and Noble or on Amazon. That’s not even the good part. Koontz wrote a novel in 1981, The Eyes of Darkness, that predicted the coronavirus almost 40 years ago. Here’s an excerpt: “They call the stuff ‘Wuhan-400’ because it was developed at their RDNA labs outside the city of Wuhan,” a character says in the book. Wuhan, if you’ve been living under a rock, is the epicenter of the coronavirus. The plot calls the Wuhan virus the “perfect weapon” to “wipe out a city or country.”
We have 60 cases of the coronavirus here in the United States and it’s being treated as if we’re in the midst of a pandemic. The media needs to gin up the fear to make us stay glued to our televisions and phones. Politicians will only be too happy to use the coronavirus as a weapon against their opponents—particularly President Donald Trump. By the way, If you haven’t seen his press conference about the coronavirus, you missed a classic performance! He’s the only guy who can joke about a possible pandemic and tell everyone not to worry, it’s just like the flu. If you wash your hands, you’ll be okay. I’m hoping that this was a shtick to lighten the mood and keep everyone from panicking. If it’s not, then I’m panicking.
— Jim Osman (@EdgeCGroup) February 27, 2020
The stock market was down again today. It will most likely be down for a while until someone comes up with how the coronavirus started and how we can stop it. Until then, you have to expect a lot of turbulence.
Economists are downgrading their forecasts and calling for little,if no, growth as companies begin to note the impact of the outbreak in their earnings reports.
Goldman Sachs released its economic forecast and it wasn’t so hot. The investment bank claims that companies will see no growth in earnings for 2020 due to the virus. You never know with them, though. Their positions could be in conflict with what they’re saying. Goldman didn’t become Goldman by being all nice and friendly to everyone and offering free investment advice.
Bank of America echoed Goldman’s doom and gloom. The bank says that it’s likely to be the worst year since the Great Recession. I think they’re being drama queens and throwing shade at Goldman for not being sufficiently negative about the future.
BofA economists cite a number of issues that will hurt the economy, including the U.S-China trade war, political uncertainty, the U.S elections, weakness in Japan, regions of South America, disruptions in the supply chains from China, the drop in tourism, outbreaks in Italy, Iran and other countries, the Astros stealing signs and our editor Christine moving into a new apartment.
In response to public opinion, at least one Chinese city, Shenzhen, is considering banning the consumption of dogs and cats. China, unlike the U.S and most of the world, dines on pretty much any animal. It’s believed by some that eating bats led to the start of the coronavirus. Some of the first infections were found in people who had exposure to the “wet markets” in Wuhan, where bats, snakes and other animals are regularly sold.
Don’t worry though! Facebook is coming to our rescue. The social media giant previously announced that it won’t ban misleading political ads, but now says it will ban advertisements for products offering dubious cures for the coronavirus outbreak. Damn, it! There goes my side gig! I really needed it, as I’m losing all of my money in the stock market.