Mark Zuckerberg Loses Over $7 Billion, ‘OK, Boomers’ Are Screwed, And An AR-15-Toting, Pudgy, Middle-Aged Midwesterner With A Pink Polo Shirts Defends His Mansion

Mark Zuckerberg Loses Over $7 Billion, ‘OK, Boomers’ Are Screwed, And An AR-15-Toting, Pudgy, Middle-Aged Midwesterner With A Pink Polo Shirts Defends His Mansion


By Jack Kelly

I guess “OK, Boomers” aren’t doing so okay. According to a new study, many Baby Boomers don’t have nearly enough money to retire.

The median (I get confused between the mode, median and mean, so let’s just say it’s about the average Boomer) amount they’ve socked away for retirement is about $144,000. Financial professionals claim that this amount isn’t so hot since people are living much longer, well into their 80s and high 90s. You have to stretch out your money for a long time and you can’t depend on things working out in your favor. As we’ve noticed lately, times can be completely nuts. 

In light of 46 million Americans filing for unemployment benefits since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in mid-March, and few—if any—new job openings, the Boomers are kind of…how can I say this politely….F@#$ed.  

If you’re over 45 years old and have lost your job, it’s really hard to get back on track and find a new one at a comparable compensation. Now that the work-from-home trend is here to stay, companies can select candidates anywhere around the world. I’m sure that you’re aware,  corporate executives are heartless ba$tard$. Do you really think that they’ll hire a 58 year old in New York City who looks old AF, isn’t woke, and pay them $150k to $200 when they can easily find a 25-year-old hipster in Seattle with a nose ring, tattoos, skateboard and beanie who’ll accept far less money? If he’s not on board, there will be lots of other ones both here and in other countries.

Meanwhile, uber-rich Millennial oligarch Mark Zuckerberg lost $7.2 billion after a number of high-profile companies stopped advertising on Facebook. The reason for the companies pulling out or taking a pause on advertising is due to Facebook’s failure to focus on policing misinformation, particularly as it relates to politics, on the site. 

The stock price of the social media giant dropped 8.3%—wiping out $56 billion in market value— on Friday after Verizon, Hershey, Unilever, Coke and others boycotted ads on the social network. Now poor ol’ Zuckerberg is only worth a measly $82 billion. Maybe Zuck can share some of that Facebook cash with the Boomers, so they don’t have to eat cat food when they’re 75?

The weekend is a great time for crazy stuff to happen. Here’s a quick rundown of what went down on Twitter. A couple in St. Louis defends their home with a firearm after protesters enter their gated community neighborhood. 

I know that they are defending themselves, but you gotta love the chubby couple sporting a handgun and what looks like an AR-15 (I don’t know my guns, so don’t shoot me). The pudgy, middle-aged dude is rockin’ a pink polo shirt and clearly forgot to sign up for gun-shooting lessons. His wife is waving around the pistol like a water gun. I don’t know what they do for a living, but their home looks like a cross between a museum and castle.

In Louisville, Kentucky, at an Antifa protest camp, shooting started. We don’t know how or why it happened, but this is now our new normal. If 2020 can’t get any weirder, Sasha Baron Cohen infiltrated a rally being held by the “Washington State Three Percenters” —a right-wing militia group—dressed as a hillbilly in blue-jean overalls and started singing. 

Washington, D.C. residents broke out in chant, singing “F@#$ THE POLICE!” On a heartfelt note, the descendant of the man in the Emancipation Statue asked the protest rioters not to tear it down and to “STOP DESTROYING OUR HISTORY.”

I have a breathing problem!” Another unhinged Karen screams at the top of her lungs, as she’s escorted out of a Trader Joe’s in Los Angeles for refusing to wear a mask. Yet another young Karen in Dallas threw a hissy fit over being asked to wear a mask in a supermarket and tossed all her food out of her shopping wagon.

Back to serious stuff. The dark secret of success for many Silicon Valley masters of the universe are built on the millions of disposable workers. These are the gig-economy, independent contractors. They’re not afforded the traditional benefits awarded to permanent full-time employees.  

Now, the Ubers and DoorDashers of the world are engaged in an existential fight for their lives. The tech giants are duking it out in court over a new state law that more narrowly defines which workers can be treated as contractors. It was designed, in large part, to rein in Uber, Instacart and other companies that have exploited their workers with low or uncertain wages.

If Lyft, Uber, Instacart and other app-based companies that rely upon gig-economy contractors lose in court, they’ll be crushed. Their business model is built on cheap labor and the avoidance of paying the taxes and benefits that permanent full-time employees receive.  

Outside of Silicon Valley in San Francisco, as well as New York City, a new study from found that Americans are moving out to the ‘burbs. In the wake of the coronavirus, riots, looting and closed bars and restaurants, along with ridiculous rents, it doesn’t make much sense for them to stay in the big, crowded, dirty, violent cities. The trend is now to move to the suburbs and rural areas.  

 Once you’ve left Manhattan and have settled into your nice, new suburban digs, you’re still not free from the city’s grimy clutch. If you work remotely for a New York City-based company, there could be a catch for the remote worker. NYC and other big cities have seen their tax revenue plummet. With high-earners fleeing, businesses closed down or operating at a fraction of their capacity, city governments are not extorting taxes like they used to. However, they still have all of the costs. Mayor Bill de Blasio and other bad leaders have a choice. They could try to run their cities efficiently, productively and profitably for everyone. We know that’s never going to happen. De Blasio could defund the police, firemen, teachers and garbage collectors, cut their pensions and save a lot of money. He could and will be taxing the remote workers. Just when you thought you were out, they drag you back in again. Working from your beach house in Southern Jersey just got a lot less attractive now that you might have to pay NYC taxes, which is a tax nightmare

There’s a dark cloud on the employment horizon. Thousands of companies borrowed money from the U.S. relief fund under the Paycheck Protection Program. They were offered forgivable loans, as long as they retained workers for a certain length of time. A large number of companies that took the money now say that they don’t have any intention of keeping the employees once the restriction period is over. Once they’ve met their obligations, companies say they plan layoffs

Happy Monday! 


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