President Trump’s Fixer Goes Bank To Jail, The Cancel Culture Strikes Again, Actor Robert De Niro Has No Dinero, And We Can All Now Work Remotely In Barbados!

President Trump’s Fixer Goes Bank To Jail, The Cancel Culture Strikes Again, Actor Robert De Niro Has No Dinero, And We Can All Now Work Remotely In Barbados!


By Jack Kelly

If you thought that you had a bad day, it’s nothing compared to what happened with Michael Cohen. You may recall, Cohen was President Trump’s attorney and “fixer” who ended up in jail. Fortunately for him, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio thought it was a good idea to release everyone from prison, so they don’t catch the coronavirus, but would jail any schlemiel who doesn’t wear a mask.

Cohen won the Covid-19 lottery and was given a “Get Out of Jail Free” card and was allowed to serve his sentence at home. Now, I never want to tell anyone how to lead their lives…but, if Michael Cohen asked me, I’d sternly tell him, “Keep a low profile. And whatever you do, don’t do anything dumb.”

Of course, according to the New York PostCohen did a dumb thing and went out to a restaurant in New York with his wife. Sources said that he refused to wear an ankle bracelet. Cohen later casually went to the courthouse for what he thought was a routine thing to sign some papers about his home confinement.

He was gravely mistaken and happily greeted by officers who took him right into custody since he allegedly “refused the conditions of his home confinement.” Not to be mean, but can you imagine the look on his face when he realized that instead of going back to his cushy Manhattan apartment, he had to go straight to jail without passing “go”?

So, I guess Cohen was cancelled. That seems to be the cool trend today. Cancel culture just won’t stop and will crush anyone who’s not woke enough.

President Trump met with Hispanic leaders Thursday at the White House. He executed an executive order concerning his Hispanic Prosperity Initiative (in a not-so-subtle attempt to woo Hispanic voters). This included forming an advisory commission to improve education and business opportunities for Hispanic Americans. That sounds fine so far, right?

Robert Unanue, the CEO of Goya Foods—you can’t miss their great stuff in all the supermarkets—innocently and politely made a comment to the person that graciously invited him to this event.

Unanue clearly doesn’t have a reading of the current political climate and had the audacity to say, “Mr. President, what can I tell you? I’m so blessed to be here in the most prosperous country in the world, the greatest country in the world. And we’re so blessed to have you as our leader, as we continue to build this country and make it the most prosperous nation in the world.”

As you can guess, the internet went wild. #BoycottGoya was the No. 2 trending topic on Twitter and Unanue was vilified and dragged by the Twitter mob and virtue-seeking celebrities and politicians.

The wild part is that Goya, a privately-held company based in Jersey City, N.J., was founded in 1936 by Prudencio Unanue, who emigrated from Spain to Puerto Rico and on to New York. Robert Unanue is Prudencio’s grandson. He’s the third-generation Unanue to run Goya, which is one if not the largest Hispanic-owned U.S. food company. The Unanue family are the epitome of the great American success story—immigrating to the United States, working hard and proudly building a successful business, employing lots of people and offering great products.

I wonder if Jeff Bezos will get a similar treatment. The Seattle City Council passed a payroll tax on the city’s largest employers this week, including Amazon. In a video posted on Twitter, Seattle City Councilwoman Kshama Sawant angrily said Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos would be defeated if he tried to oppose what has become known as the “Amazon tax.”

We are coming for you and your rotten system,” Sawant threatened.  “We are coming to dismantle this deeply oppressive, racist, sexist, violent, utterly bankrupt system of capitalism—this police state. We cannot and will not stop until we overthrow it and replace it with a world based instead on solidarity, genuine democracy and equality—a socialist world.”

Hey, I’m not trying to stir up any trouble and have no interest in being cancelled; although, recruiting in a pandemic is kind of the same thing as being cancelled. It’s okay to disagree with people. You’re free to hate people. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but shouldn’t we try to figure out ways to communicate with one another without trying to annihilate the person who doesn’t share your viewpoint?

Aren’t we already dealing with enough stress as almost 50 million Americans recently filed for unemployment, tens of thousands of new layoffs are coming soon, some of our most iconic companies (like J.C. Penney and Hertz) filed for bankruptcy along with dozens more and Covid-19 cases continue to rise?

At the very least, couldn’t we put a moratorium on hate and hostility until we figure out a way to stop the virus with a vaccine, fix the economy and create new jobs? After everything’s better, then we can return to hating each other again.

For those who are sick and tired of everything, here’s an idea. Beautiful and sunny Barbados is considering permitting visitors to stay and work remotely from the island. Instead of being stuck at home for another several months, you can accomplish all of the same tasks—but from Barbados. As I am looking out the window on a grey and pouring rainy day, I think this remote work from Barbados idea sounds fantastic!

There might be a bunch of techies that have some newly found free time to take a trip to the islands. About 70,000 tech-startup employees worldwide have lost their jobs since March. In the San Francisco region, including Silicon Valley, startups have laid off over 25,500 people at cool, cutting-edge companies, such as Uber, Groupon and Airbnb. This is unfortunate, as startups have—up until recently—been a bright shining spot in the economy, creating interesting and exciting companies with lots of well-paying jobs.

Here’s a guy who is too tough to cancel. Actor Robert De Niro claims, in an alimony battle, that he’s out of dinero. His consiglieres contend that the coronavirus put a hit on him where it hurts—his bank account.

In court filings, his estranged wife demanded an emergency order to raise her monthly American Express card credit limit from $50,000 to $100,000. Of course, she did! Who can be expected to live on a measly $600,000 a year?!

De Niro’s lawyers say that he cut his ex’s credit card limit because of a big financial wack to his restaurant chain Nobu. Questions have been raised about how a man like De Niro, who is purported to be worth $500 million and earns millions a year, doesn’t have money for alimony? Something’s a little fugazy, ya know what I mean?

One last thing, try to have a great weekend!

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