People talk about work, but often dance around the truth. For the vast majority, work kind of sucks. People don’t enjoy what they do, have a difficult boss, or stress over keeping their job when layoffs are prevalent.
To cover up and gloss over the pain of daily work life, corporate executives have curated a new language. There is a lot of doublespeak going on in the corporate world. Managers say one thing, but mean another. The words and phrases used by the C-suite that’s emulated by their sycophantic middle managers are meant to pacify the workers. It’s all part of business spin.
‘We Are One Big Happy Family’
Bosses like to say, “We are one big happy family.” However, this couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. In a real family, you can’t fire your kids. A family is meant to have unconditional love, whereas in a company, there are very clear conditions set and expectations for you to meet. Families are a very personal thing, but at work, you often hear “it’s just business” when the relationship is severed.
Although managers push the “family” agenda, who has ever heard at the kitchen table, “Come on, Christine, you have the bandwidth to do better finger painting. I know that it’s not your core competency, but you have to up your game or else”?
When little Michael asks about going to Disneyland this summer, would his dad respond, “Let’s take a deep dive into that later. Mom and I will circle back to you after we’ve had your annual review.”
Would your family call an offsite meeting to discuss what to do about Grandma? “She’s not pulling her weight. She’s a liability, clearly not on the bleeding edge, and there’s no synergy between her old-fashioned bundt cakes and our need for dark chocolate tarts and cheesecake-stuffed strawberries.”
Later on that evening, after a closed-door meeting held in the family room, it’s time to talk to Grandma. “We love you, but we have to trim the fat. I have a hard stop at 7:30 p.m. to put Johnny to bed, so let’s put a pin in for now.”
The conversation continues after she awakens from a nap. “Nanna, you are the low-hanging fruit, ripe for being laid off from the family. We’re sorry, but we can’t afford the dead weight. We wish you luck in finding a new family. Thank you for all your contributions such as the lovely Thanksgiving dinners. We will certainly give you a good reference for your next family and recommend a good outplacement service.”
What Your Boss Really Means
While using the term “family” seems well-intentioned, it is actually quite manipulative. It strips you of your power with all of the emotional implications that come with the word. Bosses will exploit this term to get your unwavering loyalty and to put the company’s needs ahead of your own, like you would your own family. People often say they would take a bullet for a loved one. Would you do that for your boss?
It’s also meant to instill you with guilt, if you ever think about leaving. You would never betray your family, would you?
The ironic part is, after all that talk, your company doesn’t think of you as family and would not hesitate in letting you go. They’ll never put you ahead of the bottom line. The sooner you realize that the familial commitment is one-sided, the better.
Other Lies Bosses Tell
Your boss says that they have an open-door policy and you can come in to talk anytime. It’s a nice sentiment, but then you soon realize that they have instructed their secretary to guard their corner office and calendar like it’s Fort Knox.
Executives claim that they take care of the people. However, when you ask for things that would offer a better quality of living, like remote work, a raise, four-day workweek, flexibility or relocation to a lower-cost location for the same pay, the managers push back.
Career coach and president of PortfolioRocket Loren Greiff offers some of the bubbe-meises she has collected over the years. When you hear “this should only take five minutes, ” you know it’s an hour-long monologue of the boss criticizing everything you’ve done over the past few weeks. They’ll say, “I treat everyone equally.” However, it’s obvious who is the teacher’s pet and gets all the accolades and juicy career-enhancing projects.
Don’t fall for the “I love to get feedback” schtick. If you offer anything slightly less than positive, the boss will hold it against you for as long as you work there. Even after you quit, they’ll make sure that the new boss knows how much of a jerk you are.
If you make a mistake, they’ll say, “Let’s chalk it up to a teachable moment and it’s not really a big deal.” This translates into, “You made a horrendous error and I’ll never, ever trust you again. The next time this happens, you are out of here.”
Greiff said, “It’s easy to focus on decoding what’s been said, by whom, across the vast spectrum of corporate cultures, and variable market conditions, but to spare yourself sleepless nights wrestling these duplicities, remain a keen observer.
She added, “As you’re starting a new position, or in the midst of restructurings, practice and rely on your self-awareness. The clearer you are with respect to your values and triggers, the easier it is to decipher your next best course of action. This is why the so-called soft skills are anything but soft, as Esther Perel, workplace psychologist, reminds us.”
Source: Forbes
