Love bombing in the workplace involves managers lavishing excessive attention, praise and rewards on employees to create a sense of loyalty and commitment. It can be used as a manipulation tool by employers to attract, retain, control and exploit workers. Interestingly, religious cults also use the term to get new recruits to join them. Although it sounds sweet, love bombing can negatively affect workers and the company.
The term “love bombing” has been primarily used in romantic relationships. One partner would shower the other person with over-the-top attention and tender affection. Then, they’d pull away or ghost the person with the conniving plan to get the person to love them more. They want the love interest to worry about losing all the wonderful attention, forcing them to think of ways to please and keep the romantic interest.
Love bombing, like the term “ghosting,” has moved from dating to the office. The reason behind the affection is a sneaky tactic to take advantage of the person and exert control and influence. The person probably has an ulterior motive, using the so-called love interest to exploit them for their own personal gain. After a while, once the person awakens to the predicament, it could cause a great deal of psychological and mental health issues. It will also lead to a lack of productivity and thoughts of leaving the organization because of stress and anxiety.
How Love Bombing Helps Then Harms A Worker
Love bombing can make a worker feel valued and appreciated. It makes them feel wanted, flattered and imbued with confidence. Although there are serious consequences, in the short run, the practice will make for a positive environment, engagement with co-workers and the company and a feeling of belonging. Being happy at work leads to enhanced productivity, which is seen and rewarded by leadership.
Love bombing creates unrealistic expectations and leads to disappointment when the employer fails to deliver on their promises. It forges a culture of fear and intimidation, where employees fear speaking out or leaving the company. It can lead to burnout and stress, as employees feel obligated to express positive emotions that may not be genuine.
Here’s An Example Of How It Works
In hindsight, you can see how the love bombing played out. A recruiter may have contacted a potential candidate for an open role, flattering the prospect, saying how their skills, background, experiences, education and reputation in the space would make them an excellent fit for the role. The recruiter touts a large compensation, title increase and a fast track to success at the organization.
Nearly everyone the applicant meets throughout the hiring process also says warm, glowing and enthusiastic things about the candidate, how special they are and how they would add incredible value to the organization.
After months of interviews, the human resources officer says they’d like to extend an offer. The candidate previously reviewed the job description to ascertain the salary range and spoke with the interviewers about what they wanted concerning total compensation, benefits, stock and other matters.
The offer comes in lower than expected. Since the applicant was love bombed during the entire process, they feel it is still worth accepting the offer, and feel slightly pressured into it.
As time progresses, the job is not what the recruiter and interviewees purported it to be. Instead of saying they were sorry, they gaslight the new employee, blaming them for misunderstanding or not properly listening when discussing numbers.
Gaslighting And Breadcrumbing
Gaslighting is another term lifted from the dating scene that made its way into the workforce. It is a nefarious form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group blames everything on the victim and tries to make the person doubt their perception of reality, leading them to wonder about their memory and sanity.
There is also a term for being strung along—”breadcrumbing.” Breadcrumbing occurs when a company spins your wheels in a drawn-out interview process, requiring you to meet with numerous personnel for months without any end in sight.
It also occurs when your manager leads you to believe that you’ll get that raise, promotion, bonus, internal transfer, higher corporate title or switched from the cubicle farm into an office, but there is always a reason why it can’t happen now.
The manager offers enough breadcrumbs to get you to stick around. You can see it in action when your boss dangles hints about a sexy new project, but the promises mysteriously dissipate into thin air.
Source: Forbes
